Why Do I Love Him?

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Why do I love him?

Why do I love a man who does not respectfully love me back?

What is it that's holding him back? He loves me. I know it. He's just not expressing it the way I am. Is he embarrassed of me or something? Am I too needy to the point of demand? I mean, it's not like I'm asking for too much. All I want is somebody, particularly Milkman, to love me the same way I love them. Okay, maybe I am a little needy, but it's not like love is a difficult thing to do or feel. If I, the supposed "neediest girl", is able to fall in love with this man at the rate I did, I would surely bet my mothers "two-carat diamond" (Morrison 310) that he can do the same. Unfortunately for me, I'd lose that diamond so I probably shouldn't do that. But why?

My appearance is something that I have always been insecure about. Maybe that is the one thing he doesn't want, the outside portion of myself. Milkman, being the materialistic man he is, may be looking for his materialistic girl. I for one would definitely not entitle such a name. He wants "silky hair the color of a penny" (Morrison 315), in opposition to my dark, wavy hair. He doesn't like my skin, my eyes, my nose, or at this point lets just say my whole picture. Even with the touches of jungle red and mango tango, I'm not enough for him. I'm not what he wants. I'm not his materialistic girl.

To me, Milkman is all I have. Why do I love him? I'm not quite sure. But I have an idea to why he doesn't love me. Can I carry on? I'm also not sure. I might just have to leave.

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